REAL WORLD MOM

Brought to you by: MadRabbitQueen & her daughter “E”



“E” HAS SOME EPIC ONE-LINERS TONIGHT…

E: “Call our cat Cleo” (she says to the new echo)

Me: “Cleo doesn’t have a phone.”

Evie: “Well, that’s because she has those tiny paws.”

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E: *Coughing all over the house*

Me: “Cover your mouth! Even if you use your shirt like this” (I pull my shirt collar over my mouth)

E: “Oh, like you do for a fart!”

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E: “GaGa, you have bags under your eyes.”

GaGa: “Yes, E, I know, you tell me everyday. Can you fix them?”

E: “No, but I can put lotion on them!” (She licks both hands and wipes them under GaGa’s eyes)

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(We are watching “Botched” and there’s a breast repair on)

E: “Hey! We were watching the boobie cuttie show!”

GaGa: “Would you want to have that done E?”

Evie: “Uh, that’s a nah from me, bruh.”

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THE NIGHT OF THE SUPER MOON

On our way home after school and work, the moon looks HUGE and easy to see on the back road we take to get home. So, I tell E:

Me: “Look right out the front window, the moon is almost right in front of us!”

E: “I see it! I see it! Wow, it’s so big and bright mom!”

Me: “It’s a full moon and its pretty close to us today, so it looks really big, huh? See the clouds in front of it?”

E: “Yeah!”

Me: “The clouds are its blankie, it’s so cold out tonight that it needed to lay with a cloud cover.”

E: “Yep, it IS pretty cold. I like to lay with my blankie too mom, the moon is like ME!”

Me: “It sure is!”

E: (Continues to watch her tablet)

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A QUICK STORY OF THE EVER SO ANNOYING “LEARNING DOG”

“E” is in the kitchen with her learning dog that plays the ABCs and numbers.

E: “A B C D E F G H I J “KAYMOP” Q R S T U V W X Y Z”

Me: “Is that dog really qualified to be teaching you the alphabet? You’ve added a few extra letters in there….”

E: “Well, it DOES have a bone on its leash, so….”

(She splays out her arms, showing me the fact that the dog indeed does have a leash with a bone on it, while making a face that clearly says to me, DUH!!)